I remember when I was younger, I broke my leg. I was sitting in a wheel chair, with my family ’round. My Dad brought a nice man over to talk with me. A religious man, as my family were and are. The man asked me a question; “Do you believe [Yhwh] can heal you?” I believe he was kneeling before me. It was one of those times a lot goes through your head real fast.
After a few seconds, I said; “Yes.” The man replied; “Good. Then He will.”
I said what I knew he and everyone around wanted to hear. But I really wasn’t so sure. Indeed, my thoughts before answering included doubting thoughts. I was eleven.
I was healed. My leg is quite well.
But that didn’t mean I never doubted again. I have thought of myself as a Thomas.
About 14 days ago, I was in my room, sitting on my bed. I was not ready to sleep, but instead was writing in my diary my thoughts. My thoughts about my spiritual life, and my doubts.
I began crying, and cried out to Yahuah. I was disheartened. I was thinking about doubts I’ve had for months, wishing I could just forget them, but knowing I must settle them. It was one of those rock-bottom moments.
Yup, desperate even, I cried out to Yhwh, upset-like.
It was a rainy night..
Indecisive for awhile, I finally decided on something. I kinda made a deal with Yah.
Before, I’ve asked Him to wake me up- particularly for study. So, I said to Him…
“Tomorrow, Yahuah, wake me up. 5:30. I’ll study the Bible for an hour and go back to bed for half an hour.” Usually I wake up 7:00 or 8:00. And an hour of study is a bit more than usual as well.
I went asleep at some point.
Hours later, I awoke to a crash. Thunder. I was mad at Yahuah. “Why did you wake me up? We don’t need more rain!”
Then it dawned on me. I went to check the clock. It was 5:27.
In awe, I felt pretty peaceful. In wondermont, I watched the lightning out my windows. Wrote some good news in my diary. And sat down on my stool to read the Word.
Where to start, I wondered? Ding! I read Genesis 1 through 5.
Yahuah still moves.