By Yah’s grace, awoke by a thunderbolt

I remember when I was younger,  I broke my leg. I was sitting in a wheel chair, with my family ’round. My Dad brought a nice man over to talk with me. A religious man, as my family were and are. The man asked me a question; “Do you believe [Yhwh] can heal you?” I believe he was kneeling before me. It was one of those times a lot goes through your head real fast.

After a few seconds, I said; “Yes.” The man replied; “Good. Then He will.”

I said what I knew he and everyone around wanted to hear. But I really wasn’t so sure. Indeed, my thoughts before answering included doubting thoughts. I was eleven.

I was healed. My leg is quite well.

But that didn’t mean I never doubted again. I have thought of myself as a Thomas.

About 14 days ago, I was in my room, sitting on my bed. I was not ready to sleep, but instead was writing in my diary my thoughts. My thoughts about my spiritual life, and my doubts.

I began crying, and cried out to Yahuah. I was disheartened. I was thinking about doubts I’ve had for months, wishing I could just forget them, but knowing I must settle them. It was one of those rock-bottom moments.

Yup, desperate even, I cried out to Yhwh, upset-like.

It was a rainy night..

Indecisive for awhile, I finally decided on something. I kinda made a deal with Yah.

Before, I’ve asked Him to wake me up- particularly for study. So, I said to Him…

“Tomorrow, Yahuah, wake me up. 5:30. I’ll study the Bible for an hour and go back to bed for half an hour.” Usually I wake up 7:00 or 8:00. And an hour of study is a bit more than usual as well.

I went asleep at some point.

Hours later, I awoke to a crash. Thunder. I was mad at Yahuah. “Why did you wake me up? We don’t need more rain!”

Then it dawned on me. I went to check the clock. It was 5:27.



In awe, I felt pretty peaceful. In wondermont, I watched the lightning out my windows. Wrote some good news in my diary. And sat down on my stool to read the Word.

Where to start, I wondered? Ding! I read Genesis 1 through 5.


Yahuah still moves.



-Yah’s girl


3 thoughts on “By Yah’s grace, awoke by a thunderbolt

  1. Dear “Yahtruetorahgirl”,
    I too have experienced doubts in my life but always came back. As a child, I experienced lots of doubts! But I always felt His protection and presence! The big question I continually asked Yah was why? What was His purpose for having me go through more then others? What was I doing wrong?
    I have believed that He can heal. And I asked Him to heal me physically. After many years, I concluded it wasn’t a part of His plan. I accepted what was physically.
    I know He answers prayers because some of mine have been answered. He also, would wake me up when I needed to get up to go to work. And I also had told Him “send me a sign” if He wanted me to do something the ruach was telling me to do? Every time, He did send me a”sign”. Then one day, I realized that I was doubting Him. I cried and asked forgiveness. I no longer ask for a sign because I know when He is “speaking to me”. I believe as we walk with Him our Faith will grow but because we our human, the doubt will never completely disappear!
    I pray that as you go through the trials that face you and your family, that Yah will “prove” to you that His hand in in this horrible time and His will is always the BEST! Also, He will strengthen you and give you peace. Finally, as you “walk into the lions den” you are NOT alone!
    Thank you for sharing with me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share some of your experiences with doubt!
      Doubt- and fear- seem to be my biggest inner enemies. Besides the neccesity of further studies into/knowledge of the Bible. And a stronger (Much stronger) relationship with Yahuah & Yahusha. ________ I kinda feel like; There went that secret. But that’s good.
      Perhaps ironically, struggles apparently help me spiritually. As for all of us, I’m sure. Any ship can sail in fair weather..
      I saw a quote today; “Faith is only faith when it’s the only thing you’re hanging onto.”

      Love to you & yours,
      -Yah’s girl


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